How I Found And Lost A Friend
by Dagenspear
Summary: A journey with Robin through the years during and after Ted and Tracey's wedding, a journey filled with unexpected friendships, tragedy, responsibility, and the love that stems from it all. Robin/Ted romance, with Robin/Tracey friendship, and some Ted/Tracey thrown in.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! This is my first time writing fanfiction for this pairing. So, the finale left a lot of gaps to be filled for the most part, and I figured I'd take a crack at filling them. This is going to have a lot of Ted and The Mother/Tracey in it, but is mainly a Ted and Robin, with Robin and Tracey friendship. For some reason, I just see Robin and Tracey having this great friendship .There's more after this chapter. I REALLY hope you guys like it!**

It had been a small wedding. Ted and Tracey's. Mr. and Mrs. Mosby's.

Robin was happy for them. She really was. Ted was happy. Tracey was happy. Their children were. They were one big happy family.

Lily had set up a small get-together afterwards. It was nice. Robin stayed and mingled with the group for a little bit. It was good to see Barney so put together. He'd been a bit of a mess after the divorce. He actually spent the entire night showing everyone baby pictures. Robin could honestly say that she never would've expected him to be such a completely devoted father. A good one, yes maybe. But like this? Boy did that girl have him wrapped around her little finger.

Lily and Marshall were great, as always. Lily wasn't quite as warmed up to her presence as she'd hoped she'd be, but they eventually fell back into their old habits. Marshall gave her a big bear hug. And they proceeded to talk of nothing but their children. Robin mostly smiled and nodded. She didn't have a problem listening to everyone talk about their kids. It just made her feel a little out of place, left out a bit.

She finally ran into Ted. She hadn't been deliberately sidestepping him. Not really. She just wasn't sure if they could talk to each other without feeling awkward. Ted smiled at her, a warm and sincere smile, and said he was happy that she came. It made her smile back. She was surprised how easily they hit a stride in conversation. For the first thirty minutes they talked about how their careers were going. Ted was doing amazingly in his architect career. He told her he'd been hard at work on a new building. She congratulated him. She told him about her travels, the stories she'd reported on, and her next story. Ted congratulated her. Things were going really great. They were having fun, joking around, and Robin had to go and ruin it by stupidly ask that damning question:

"So, how's the kids?" Robin froze. She hadn't even given her words any thought. It was just the natural course of the conversation. Professional. Anecdotal. Then personal. That was how conversations were supposed to be. Of course, exes were more complicated. But Robin let herself get pulled into talking. Now things were awkward. She could tell Ted wasn't sure what to think about her question. He had that quizzical, furrowed eyebrows look.

But he quickly relaxed and said, "They're great. Penny lost a tooth last week."

He was so at ease. It told her that he was okay with this. That whatever awkwardness she was afraid of getting in the way of their friendship wasn't there. It certainly took a load off of her shoulders, and brought a calming smile to her face that she could barely contain. The smile spread wider as she remembered beautiful little Penny, and how fast she was growing up. "Really?"

Ted smiled right back. "Yeah."

"Wow." Robin said, in slight surprise. "She's really growing up, isn't she?"

Ted nodded. "Certainly faster than I'd like."

"It won't be long before she's beating off guys with a stick."

"Oh God, please, I don't even want to think about that."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Luke will make you proud and be quite the looker to balance it out."

"Well, obviously, look who his father is."

Robin laughed. She liked this. She couldn't remember why she'd thought they couldn't have this anymore.

"Hey, Mr. Mosby."

Her smile faded. Now she did.

**Hey! What did you think? Please, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm really very sorry it's taken me so long. There was a problem with my computer and it kind of made it so I couldn't post what I originally wanted to. I hope you like it.**

Tracey stepped up right behind Ted, her hand now on his shoulder, like she was trying to show her that Ted was hers now. Even though, Robin knew that that wasn't at all what she was doing, it still felt like she was no longer there. Ted had immediately looked up at the sound of her voice. It drew his attention right away.

"Hey, Mrs. Mosby." Ted said right back to her.

His smile got wider. It reached his eyes as she leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips. And of course it did. She was the mother of his children. Beautiful. Radiant. Perfect in every way. She made Ted happy. He made her happy. And she knew it. She appreciated it. As Robin looked at them, she could see the complete adoration in Tracey's eyes reflecting Ted's own right back at him. She knew what she had in Ted, and she showed him how grateful she was for that in just her look.

They loved each other.

Robin placed a smile onto her face. It wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be. She legitimately enjoyed seeing them happy together. But it still left a small pang in her heart to see it.

Tracey's attention clicked back over to Robin, realization dawning on her face at the fact that they'd been talking. "Oh." a look of guilt came to her face. "I'm so sorry. I interrupted, didn't I?"

Suddenly Robin felt guilty for making her feel guilty. Tracey was Ted's wife. She didn't have to apologize for taking some time with her husband. And yet she was. It was then that Robin fell right back into feeling out of place. So, she spoke up. "No. That's okay."

Ted had brought his attention back to Robin, continuing her thought. "I was just telling her how Penny lost her tooth."

An excited look suddenly sprang to Tracey's face. "Omigod, did you tell her what we did?!"

Ted's face brightened in realization. "Right! So, when Penny lost her tooth, Tracey had this great idea-"

"We both did." Tracey chimed in as she sat on the armrest of the couch next to Ted.

"It was mostly hers."

Robin sat there, listening to Ted and Tracey finish each-others sentences, as they told a story about how they dressed up as the Tooth Fairy and Father Time to give Penny money for her tooth. Supposedly it had been a disaster. But Robin wasn't so sure. The way they told the story made her see that. Enthusiastically. And without hesitation. Even for a situation that went to crap, it was still something they could enjoy talking about. And, for a minute, the idea actually made Robin smile.

Until she remembered that she wasn't a part of this. This wasn't her world. They all had their own to live in. And she was always just a visitor. And with that, Robin felt alone again.

She knew it was rude, but she just couldn't sit here with this. She wanted to get away from it. To avoid this feeling. So, she made an excuse. "Oh, darn, will ya look at the time?" She tried to sound sincere. And she was, partially. But she did just want to get away from this. "I have a flight out to Spain in the morning for a story." It was only a half lie. It was just that that wasn't scheduled until next week.

Ted looked at Robin, feeling something off about her as she nodded to him and Tracey, who was silent, and grabbed her purse, saying "bye"s and "see ya later"s to everyone. But he ignored it. It was probably just what she said it was. No reason to worry. Especially on his wedding night. Ted turned to his beautiful bride and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Tracey then said, "Ya know, I forgot to tell Robin something. I'll be right back." cryptically.

Ted nodded, saying simply "Okay." with a slight bewildered look.

And with that Tracey placed a quick peck on Ted's lips before smiling and saying an honest "Love you." and went after Robin.

Ted replied with a smile and a similarly honest "Love you too." as she walked away.

Robin left the party, walking out into the empty hallway, not knowing that Tracey was right behind her.

Tracey caught up to her, touching her on the shoulder and making her turn around.

Robin, agitated at the idea of being kept from leaving, asked a little harshly "What do you want?" She regretted it, of course, and did her best to temper that frustration.

Tracey took a moment. She was a little taken aback. But she regained her footing quickly. "Where ya going?"

Robin put on her best game face, trying to sound less rude, and less of a liar, saying, "Like I said, I got work."

Tracey just looked at Robin quizzically for a second, and then said, "No, you don't. When I asked you to come to our wedding you said you had the week off."

Robin opened her mouth to say something, but Tracey had caught her in the lie. There was nothing she could say to cover it up. At least nothing she could think of at the moment. And it annoyed her. Couldn't she just be allowed to get away from this? To not have to look at her happy friends, and her happy ex-boyfriend with his wife... Maybe that's what prompted her to say what she said next. She was running on impulse, annoyance, jealousy and a little bit of alcohol, and that was not a good combination here for her. "Why'd you invite me anyway?"

Tracey was confused. She'd done it for Ted. For both of them. She didn't want Robin to feel left out. And she wanted to let Ted know that she trusted him. Sure, she'd had a little uncertainty with the up and down history between Ted and Robin that Ted had told her about, but she trusted him. Them. Did Robin think she didn't? Tracey didn't want that. Ever since she became a part of Ted's circle of friends, the last thing she ever wanted was to mess up any of their dynamic. "You're Ted's friend. Why wouldn't I?" Tracey was trying to put it as plainly as she could. There was no reason for anybody to feel left out here.

Robin became even more frustrated about this. She wanted to make her understand. "Because I'm his ex! Who would want their Groom's ex at their wedding? Aren't you afraid I'm gonna try and steal him from you?"

Tracey had heard about the situation with Ted's previous attempt at a wedding, but that was a long time ago and she couldn't believe Robin actually thought that she would have so little trust in her and Ted now. The only conclusion Tracey could come to was that maybe Robin was testing her. "You don't have to worry about anything like me being super-jealous. I trust Ted. And I trust you." It seemed like such a simple solution to this situation for her. It wasn't complicated.

Robin deflated emotionally. She didn't know what to feel at that. Tracey trusted her. Robin would never try and break up a family. She couldn't fathom that. But, Tracey not thinking that she would, it made her feel like crap for feeling something for Ted. She felt like she shouldn't even be here. That she had no right to feel anything for Ted. She felt guilty. And ashamed. So, Robin did what she did: Sabotaged herself. "You shouldn't." She wanted Tracey to know now. To make her keep everyone away from her, to make her hate her, not trust her, anything. Anything to get Tracey to see her as she was.

"What are y..." Tracey's face fell as she looked Robin in the eye, really looked, and she saw it. Shame. Guilt. She hadn't understood at first. Maybe she didn't want to. But now... It was there. And she felt her heart sink at it.

And Robin knew it. Felt it.

Everything in Tracey shifted. From the barely a few inches step back away from Robin that would've been unnoticeable to anyone else. To even the classic arm cross. To the change in her look. Once again it would've unnoticeable to most people. It was such a small gesture. Her face simply straightened. There wasn't anger or tears, but distance.

It unnerved Robin.

A whole rush of emotions flooded her: Anger, betrayal, sadness. So much so she didn't know what to feel. She had to know. Had to say it out loud. Tracey tried to restrain her emotions, but the words still came out with an edge. "You still have feelings for him."

**Please, PLEASE review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry it's taken me so long with this chapter! I've had problem with this due to loss in my family. Please enjoy this chapter! Sorry for how short this chapter is.**

Robin wasn't sure what to say. She was quickly realizing that she didn't really want to be hated by Tracey. Just this was unbearable. This distance. The crumpled, straight look on her face. She couldn't imagine how she would feel at something worse. She had to try to... explain, somehow. She had to make this right. "Tracy, I..." It was hard to find the words.

The look on Robin's face was all the proof she needed. It hurt. A lot. She didn't know what it was. Her and Robin were never exactly best friends. Now she knew why.

Maybe she always hoped that she could become such an ingrained part of Ted's circle of friends that they could see her as if she had always been apart them. She hoped that they would all see her that way. That Robin, someone who had been important in Ted's life, would see her as a close friend. Like her and Lily. But she never would be. Not to Robin anyway.

All that was left for Tracy was to just wonder. "Why'd you even come?" The edge was still there. Tracey could hear it in her own voice as she cut off whatever Robin was trying to say. It wasn't something she liked.

Robin thought for a second about it. There were a lot of reasons. But if she really let it sink in, she knew why. "I just... Wanted to be a good friend to Ted."

Tracy relented. She didn't want to do this. Not here. Not now. "Please... leave."

Robin couldn't bring herself to do anything but nod solemnly and say, "Okay". Tracy was right. She shouldn't be here. She should never have come in the first place. She should've known that it would've caused nothing but trouble. Robin just stepped back away from Tracy and turned around, walking away to leave.

Tracy stood there, the thoughts marinating in her mind. There was so much the sift through. So many thoughts and feelings. But one stood out. 'Why'd you even invite me?' And with it came another. 'Aren't you afraid I'm gonna try and steal him from you?' Lightning practically struck her brain. "Robin."

Robin stopped in her tracks. She tentatively turned, afraid of whatever Tracy was gonna say.

But she was only met with a simple inquisitive look, a furrowed brow look. Like she was trying to figure something out.

She did say she was a bit of a detective...

Wow. She really was perfect for Ted.

Why didn't that make her feel better?

Tracy had realized that Robin's words were not the words of someone looking to take away her husband. They were... something else. "Why didn't you try to steal him from me?"

Robin was completely blanking. Why would Tracy ask her that? What did she get out of this? This was exactly the kind of thing Robin wanted to avoid. So, she did. "Because... I knew what he'd say."

Without a second's hesitation Tracy simply stated, "So do I." Tracy didn't need to think about it at all. She knew Ted loved her. She knew he loved their family. She knew he loved Penny and Luke. There wasn't a doubt in her mind about his loyalties. But that wasn't what this was about. "But most people would need to know. They would need that person to know. And I think you're like that."

Robin just stood there in silence for a moment, contemplating another lie, before just responding with the truth, "It doesn't matter."

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! I would greatly appreciate it!**


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